Anxious moments !

Am getting a bit nervous now. As P4, the honeymoon is over. Now its time to wake up and get the honeymoon suite organised before checking out. Next two terms would be all about jobs and career decisions. And I have no fuckin idea where I will end up.

When I came to INSEAD, my target was Consulting in China. Pre-MBA I was in China in industry and earlier in my career I was in Consulting so I knew I could connect the dots. But throughout INSEAD, everyone told me that consulting is not for me. I am more of a doer, a hands on person which is not the case with consulting. I agreed but then again, I knew consulting would open a number of doors for me which would take me where I eventually want to be.

Then came the surprise summer internship in healthcare. It changed a few things in my life. For one, I dont want to be in consulting anymore. I love the challenge of managing teams, managing deliverables and driving real businesses. I like working with people instead of MS Powerpoint. Second, the internship re-confirmed my passion for my long term goal. The only question is how the fuck to reach there.

Well, it will be long and tough. There will be celebrations and breakdowns. A year to challenge yourself....fuck...its true. I might make it through or I might not. By December I will either have a job or I will be on a one way ticket to home. Ya...I will go home and sleep like a baby for a few days before thinking of jobs again.

Right now I dont know where I will be in 6 months from now. I am shit scared but at the same time I am anxious to see how things shape up. INSEAD changed my life irrespetive of where I end up. I became a better person for my partner, I realised my real interests and priorities in life and I blew up everything I earned over the past 5 years. Boy it felt good. I met some amazing people here, made some truly good friends and the memories will last forever.

Huh...fuck. Right now it feels like sitting in a roller coaster in the front seat. The security lock has kicked in and the ride is about to start. I am scared, I know I could potentially shit in my trousers, I know there will be an embarassing picture taken half way through the ride, but I also know that when this ride stops, I will be thrilled and be glad that I took this ride.

Guys, I am still on with the David vs Goliath thing. Its getting serious now and please pray for me. I want this thing to work. I know I am way out of my depth on this but fuck me, good things are supposed to happen once in a while right.

YouTube of the day (poor video quality though!)